Hi gang.
Well, I took your advice on the X-files thing…and all i can say is i must have read the situation completely wrong, because not only have i had no luck with being with the person in question, i’m not even getting a return on phone calls or text messages…..so now I fear i might be seen as the ‘weird stalker guy’ so i’ve given up the ghost with that one….NEXT!
So anyway, it brings me to my next question. I’d like to know, what is the fine line between ’stalker desperation’ and ‘i’m so cool i couldn’t possibly be interested in you’?
I’m looking at numerous tactcis in my quest to find the one. I get the feeling with the last one I pushed too soon and hense they ran away screaming ‘argggghhhh, get this guy off me, he’s crazy!!!’ I tend to get the feeling that happens a bit with me actually.
Example, went out with work colleagues last week and I got talking to someone i was very interested in….in fact we talked all night….i looked as great as i possibly could (admit, im no Brad Pitt), i felt i was interesting yet at the same time being interested in them….ticked all the boxes so I thought.
Anyway, about 10 of us decided to head into the city, three of us, sober driver, myself and my interest clammered into the car, more talking, more laughing…im thinking this is going well here…..
Get to the place we were metting everyone, they won’t let us in although all our friends are already there (dunno why, we weren’t blind or anything) so sober driver offers to give me a lift home, i say i’ll get a taxi as does the other….im thinking, this is going well…we got rid of the driver and then there were only 2 left.
I got the number, said, why don’t we split a cab….they refuse and say, don’t worry, you’re going one way, im going the other, we’ll take separate cabs….so after much protest I pile into the back seat of my cab expecting to see the the other jump into another one…they don’t….
I later find out that they decided to go out with all the friends afterall and left me hanging…as if, they didn’t want to be with me and were doing everything they could to get rid of me…..Did i come on too strong??? i didn’t think i had.
Anyway…i’ve sent a couple of text messages, facebook things saying i enjoyed the other night…blah blah blah, love to catch up with you sometime…nothing in reply….What have i done wrong here?
I’m sure I came on too strong….or the fact that i’m an undateable gimp….they are about the only possible things i can think of….I’m trying to think it’s not the latter or i might as well slash my wrists now and be done with it.
But if i had have ignored them all night and I was interested, i may not have even got a number….I’m becoming more and more confused…i just don’t get it.
The wink across the bar thing doesn’t work for me either. I try the eye contact thing, people tend to look down when i look at them.
Help people!!!! what am i doing wrong????
Hey everyone. First timer here, thought I’d give it a go.
Got a relationship question for you and i’d love to know what you think and what you would/did do in the same situation.
I’m a single, 29-year-old guy who’s had his fun and would love to settle down with someone. The last four people I’ve had any sort of interest in, one wasn’t interested in a relationship, the other three were….but the problem was/is they were/are still besotted with their ex.
For example, I was out the other night with friends, met someone through a friend of a friend, thought this person was great, we got along well, funny, single, smart, just a perfect first meeting really.
Anyway, the group of six or seven we were out with also contained the ex.
It’s ok to talk as a group, but whenever we started to talk one-on-one, the ex would always be there, sort of lurking over our shoulder.
Body language made me think for certain the ex is still keen, but i’m pretty sure (not 100%) that it wasn’t the other way around. He was certainly doing his best to keep a close eye on me.
Anyway, by the end of the night, I wasn’t able to get a number, because the ex was a wasted and needed to be taken home…. Although am determined to get the friend of a friend to get it for me.
I guess I’m asking, if its an amicable breakup, how close should you keep your ex and how do you, as the new one coming in, get through the fact that the ex is still in the background…and if they’re still keen, more than likely conspiring to make you look as bad as possible?
It seems to be an issue that i’ve come across a bit lately…would like to know your thoughts.
